When we met, I avoided showing any outward attraction, even though the opposite was true. Borderline Personality Disorder Forum : Borderline Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. My self-esteem is pretty low right now, and I have no friends or family for support (she's managed to surgically pare away any competing emotional attachments). Neither his ex-wife nor the kids know about me. Your article seems to indicate otherwise. Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Having a family member who is a high conflict person (usually with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder or traits) can make you feel all alone, with no one to talk to who really understands. I know that she may respond to my leaving with violence--but leaving her is a risk I am willing to take (I have had guns pointed at me, been hit with a guitar, had threats to be poisoned or smothered in my sleep, etc.). A. It’s your choice which of these terms you want to use, but your doctor or care team might use either. First, this is not your fault (and your girlfriend may be able to fill in the blanks on his romantic history). Thanks for exposing this issue for what it is, and also for ignoring the political gender bias intrinsic to marital abuse issues. Borderline Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. METHODS USED TO DEVELOP THIS … Unless your man is lying unconscious in a hospital bed somewhere, sounds like you've met a Casanova; this man is highly skilled at seducing women, but may (secretly) distrust/despise them. She'll have difficulty respecting this boundary, but you'll at least have let her know where you stand. I felt as if my own story had been told with such clarity, and it was comforting to realize that I'm far from alone in this situation. Typing in my palm pilot distracted me from the pain and helped me vent. Sometimes he's real sweet and loving to me, and other times he's critical, (verbally) abusive and cold. That was just as bad, if not worse than abuse.” READ MORE: Famous People With Anxiety. Find services near you > Postcode: Why is my life such a mess? Been in a marriage with an abusive borderline for over twenty years; I'm making moves to get out, but kids and financial worries are playing heavily on my mind. Home ‹ Board index ‹ Personality Disorders ‹ Borderline Personality Disorder Forum; Change font size; Blogs; Contact; FAQ; Tweet: Our partner Jump to: Borderline Romantic Reationships. I'm a rescuer type who became ensnarled into her web of push/pull emotional gymnastics right after losing a previous girlfriend in a car crash. Looking for a place to talk to others? Borderline Personality Disorder. This study also indicated that most people personally know more than one person with BPD, and at least 1 family in 5 has someone with the disorder. The ex-girlfriend didn't even stop harassing us until 3 months ago, and she still tries to make contact. The services provided by HealthfulChat are designed to support, not replace any professional medical help you may currently be receiving. Re: Borderline Personality Disorder - Living with it is Hell Post by harrisd » Wed Oct 10, 2012 3:31 pm Better, still get my ups and downs but I have a few things that is helping me keep focused until my counselling, hopefully once I start Counselling things will become a lot easier. Reading the accounts of other men in my situation is really helpful to me, and makes me feel a little less isolated. Absolutely! Filled with all sorts of thoughts and stress. Being able to communicate with people in a similar situation online is a blessing. Splitting is when an individual rapidly goes from 'I love you' to 'I hate you.' I figured there had to be something else. We are a non-discriminatory website which means that all individuals are welcome - whether you've been formally diagnosed or simply recognize yourself or someone you know in the diagnostic criteria, you are welcome here! All Rights Reserved. After awhile, he may try to re-engage you, when he senses you've cooled down and it's 'safe' to return for more. 109. pinned by moderators. Just reading your descriptions, I could feel your soul. Posts. Then she left me, and began an off and on again relationship. 1.2 The national borderline personality disorder guideline 13. Welcome to the Forum; Support & Advice ↳ New to the forum? How is the 'waif' different from other (abusive) types described in books like, Mommy Dearest? It takes a toll on my self-worth after while. Basically, when you throw a life preserver to a Waif, he/she ignores or disregards it (throws it back), or resents the gesture. After being divorced from a 23 year marriage, I found myself living the best personal and professional life ever for about 3 years--with no end in sight. These types of mothers are emotionally incestuous--which keeps their children entwined, dependent and ambivalent/confused about appropriate emotional boundaries. I'm not sure if Alaskaor is still connected tot he forum as it has been a … Threads in Forum: Borderline Personality Disorder : Rating Thread / Thread Starter: Last Post: Replies: Sticky: Welcome to the Borderline Personality Disorder (1 2 3... Last Page) DocJohn. This validation has helped me tremendously, but being a "rescuer" type, I don't want to give up on this woman just yet. Q. I have apparently been dating a (Waif) Borderline. My mother is very difficult to approach when something's bothering me about our relationship--she becomes defensive, angry or sad, and shuts down. A Borderline's relationship with his/her mother can be enmeshed, if the child wasn't allowed to separate/individuate successfully. Moderator: lilyfairy. Health Chat Rooms | Mental Health Chat Rooms | Health Support Online | Mental Health Support Online | Health Forums | Mental Health Forums | Free Health Chat | Online Health Chat | Community Health Forums | Free Health Forums | Health Chat, Copyright © 2021 HealthfulChat. Eventually, she'll tire of trying to get your attention, and may use some dramatic tactics beforehand, but don't give into them. HealthfulChat comprises of a collection of both physical and mental peer health support chat rooms. Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of people who have a family member with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to an international forefront through her best-selling books, informative website, and popular online family support community Welcome to Oz. She's intelligent, pretty etc., but the lies, manipulation, violent behaviour and years of brainwashing have left their mark on me. height : 20px; Borderline personality disorder (BPD) can cause a wide range of symptoms, which can be broadly grouped into 4 main areas. Seeking Support Information Input Venting DAE Person w/o BPD Positivity Research. } Q. Borderline Personality Disorder r/ BPD. Q. A psychiatric conference ending today puts ‘personality disorder’ into inverted commas. Sounds less like a bipolar issue than a Borderline Personality problem, which (in men) is characterized by a Dr. Jekyll - Mr. Hyde split in demeanor and temperament. Borderline personality disorder symptoms and newlyweds' observed communication, partner characteristics, and longitudinal marital outcomes. Q. Hello Shari, I found your article on Borderline Personality Disorder through the link you sent with recent comments on Glenn Sacks' blog. Connect with people who get it, in a supportive environment, open 24/7. Forums Topics Posts Last post; Borderline and Bipolar UNMODERATED ROOMFor those diagnosed with BOTH the Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder … This can make you feel like you're walking on eggshells in this relationship, which always derails closeness and intimacy. I found it hard to imagine that I would identify with Alec Baldwin's vicious outburst--but my elder son is 9, and given another two years with him 5,000 miles away, it's hard to say where our conversations will go! Your descriptions are incredibly astute--and it's eerie that you've nailed (with such accuracy), how I've been feeling in this relationship! margin-top: 10px; Q. ↳ All about caring ↳ Coronavirus (COVID-19) ↳ Tips and practical advice ↳ Carers' health issues ↳ Former carers ↳ Benefits, Finances and Funding ↳ Young adult carers; Social area ↳ Members' corner ↳ General chit-chat ↳ Fun and games ↳ Condolences If the therapist is incapable of setting firm enough boundaries and allows the seduction, he/she is permitting the client to have the upper hand in their relationship. I really want to move on, and get my self-confidence back. Please Ensure You Have Read the Chat Room Rules Enter Chat Room . Community. 5 evaluations from borderline personality disorder patients report moderate effectiveness of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for borderline personality disorder ... Talk to people with borderline personality disorder Mental Health and Behavior Forum. Q. Shari, for the past few weeks I've been dating a wonderful man I met through a girlfriend, and he's amazing; handsome, romantic, thoughtful, generous, the works! This isnot to excuse or condone violence to women, but far too many males have been physically and emotionally abused by personality disordered women, who lack impulse control, and any sense of boundaries. However she responds or reacts, you may choose to take it in, but do not take it on; in other words, stay with your feelings. Forums on the internet have helped me cope, and explain to my 12 and 5 year olds how to avoid conflicts and explosions. My journey with my youngest daughter started when she was 13 , she is now 22. A. Symptoms such as explosive anger and/or other excessive emotional responses, impulsive actions such as drug and alcohol abuse, spending sprees or self-injurious acts can make daily living feel nearly impossible.. BPD also tends to affect your relationships with family and friends as well, which can lead to conflict because of their lack of understanding the illness.. Oftentimes being able to maintain healthy relationships with people is a challenge for those living with BPD due to 'splitting'. I've been seeing a man for 8 months but can't get close to him, because everything I say or do seems manipulative, controlling or psychotic. Is it true, that all Borderlines lacked a connection with their mother? What a difficult situation. margin-bottom: 10px; Your fiance should initially pick up his daughters by himself when they arrive, and broach this topic as sensitively as possible. A man with narcissistic traits views this "extraordinary" lover as a perfect reflection of himself and his worth. Given the distance between him and the kids, this has not been a problem. Hot. color:#999999;} However, I have also read that (all) ex's have difficulties when their former spouses remarry, and that borderlines escalate these difficulties to massive proportions. Diagnosis and Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. This is typical Borderline Personality behavior. width : 300px; I love my mom, but I've learned that maintaining some distance feels safer/better for me. You are very right to be concerned about how these kids will react to this news. Started by Jewellady5; 55 … Diversions often take the form of working longer hours, abusing alcohol/drugs/food, getting a new pet, bringing a baby into their dynamic or having affairs. No response is usually the best. My question is, what is the best way to tell everyone? Then I noticed a pattern in what I was observing, and I researched it on the internet. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. I never knew there were several types of Borderlines! What do you recommend? They have two daughters (8 and 12). Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness characterized by trouble regulating one’s own emotions, which can lead to painful and unstable interpersonal relationships. Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak. I "ran" from her so to speak, but she kept showing up--until next thing I knew, we were spending a lot of time together and in 3 months (against my better judgement) we got married. Topic: borderline personality disorder 11 posts, 0 answered Oldest first | Newest first. J Pers Disord. Thanks for your valuable contribution. Viewing 7 reply threads. float : left; Here is a link you might find helpful but the website as a whole is worth an explore I really feel that you have wisdom beyond everything I have seen on the borderline personality. A close (male) friend once said; "when a woman hits a man, she's playing a man's game, and men react instinctively to violence." Would you allow us to link to it on our website? I sent a brief email saying that I was fine--which seems to have set off a flurry of new calls. Even if you'd loved her "better" (in her mind), this relationship would've had precisely the same outcome. At the same time, I am not sure I'm ready to do whatever it is, that needs to be done. margin-right: 20px; #boxframe2 { The psychologist who counseled us as a couple said: "Yeah, she's a borderline--I knew that a long time ago." But next time, try and remember; when a guy sweeps you off your feet, he may not be strong enough to keep from dropping you! Waifs appear needful, fragile and victimized by life circumstances and relationships, and you could feel compelled to rescue them from their troubles! Could be a personality disorder. Yes some try, and this is their defense against feelings of vulnerability. There's little that's more comforting for children to observe, than a warm, loving relationship between two adults--especially when they're accustomed to living in a war zone. She convinced me that it was my fault, and all I had to do was change and everything would be great--although what I gave up or changed was never enough! Started by Cooookies; 40 minutes ago; Replies: 3; Depression Forum. She would say; "I love you like my own child with all my heart--and we will never ever be apart." Grow your Wisdom~Learn even MORE from Shari's posts on Facebook and Twitter! Casanova's the male version of Borderline Personality; he's addicted to seducing, as it gratifies his ego and fuels his narcissism. A. Borderlines simply do what borderlines do. G. Song lyrics. Help!